Women Summary
I am feeling better now, took my share of antibiotics, juice, hot milk and sweated like a pig yesterday.
I promised a summary on the post about women, and here it is. I found out that most have responded with long lists of what they want, which I think is hard to find in one man. Shosho had the best response which is accepting the person as who they are. I like that because that is how see things for myself, although the post was not about me. I am willing to make a few adjustments, but not major ones, and will not change my ways just to please a life partner (have to think about this concept first, especially the sex at 60 part :P). A few of you also mentioned person acceptance in their long lists, but it was not as emphasized as with shosho.
Many of you want men they can depend on, who can understand you without mentioning a word, just by looking in your eyes, he would know what you feel. A man who is sensual, yet strong, someone who has the power to melt your hearts as well as bond with your soul, has the intellect to know what to say, when to say it and where to say it to you.
While reading your responses, I noticed that some of you want too many things from a man. Is it realistic to expect that much in one person? or are some of you blinded by what you see in your own family, say for example father, or uncle, or even sister's husband? Does that influence how you view men?
OK to make it a short post I should stop here.
I promised a summary on the post about women, and here it is. I found out that most have responded with long lists of what they want, which I think is hard to find in one man. Shosho had the best response which is accepting the person as who they are. I like that because that is how see things for myself, although the post was not about me. I am willing to make a few adjustments, but not major ones, and will not change my ways just to please a life partner (have to think about this concept first, especially the sex at 60 part :P). A few of you also mentioned person acceptance in their long lists, but it was not as emphasized as with shosho.
Many of you want men they can depend on, who can understand you without mentioning a word, just by looking in your eyes, he would know what you feel. A man who is sensual, yet strong, someone who has the power to melt your hearts as well as bond with your soul, has the intellect to know what to say, when to say it and where to say it to you.
While reading your responses, I noticed that some of you want too many things from a man. Is it realistic to expect that much in one person? or are some of you blinded by what you see in your own family, say for example father, or uncle, or even sister's husband? Does that influence how you view men?
OK to make it a short post I should stop here.
posted by Purgatory at 11:18 AM
26 Comments:
"While reading your responses, I noticed that some of you want too many things from a man. Is it realistic to expect that much in one person? or are some of you blinded by what you see in your own family, say for example father, or uncle, or even sister's husband? Does that influence how you view men? "
- I think a better question would be: is it realistic to ask kuwaiti girls to be realistic, knowing that they are hindered by social conventions from mingling with the other sex, and hence denied the chance to have the sufficient experience to realize the bitter truth - that what's in their minds is not actually there?
Glad you're feeling better Purg :)
Now, back to the topic at hand, if I (personally) did not set high expectations, then any of the men that come to ask my hand in marriage would suffice. Ya3ny killa yiwady will 9ara7a my9eer chithi, mo?
Plus this is a marriage, ya3ny it should last a lifetime (hopefully). I don't want to spend my life with someone who won't please me. Granted we will have days when both of us won't please each other, but still, I'd rather the days we please each other outnumber the days we don't, by far.
When I said I wanted a guy that attracted me to him physically, that's only normal. I'm not just talking about his face, but also his body, and mannerisms. He doesn't necessarily have to be drop dead gorgeous. I'd just prefer it if his appearance was pleasing to ME. Maybe someone might think he's common looking and someone else might think he's ugly but if his looks please ME, then I don't care what others think. Kuwaity guys are the cutest out of all the countries in the Gulf so this trait won't be hard to find.
As for a religious guy, this is a muslim country so there's plenty of those as well.
Now here's where it gets more difficult, asking for a guy who can think for himself. Who isn't afraid of what others think. Who doesn't have to regurgitate textbook informations when asked about his own opinion. There a few guys like that bas 3ad wayn ana ra7 alga, mo?
Then there's the rarest of all! Kuwaity mo ji39 haha A BIG hearted Kuwaity. Those are seriously one in a million, SERIOUSLY. The richer they are the cheaper and meaner they get. Only a rare few manage to escape this curse.
Mutual love and respect are a must-have in any marriage or else the marriage would fail. Companionship and understanding go hand in hand as well. These aren't just things I want for my marriage, these are things I need to make my marriage work.
If he won't love me then what's the point of marrying him? If he won't respect me, again what's the point of marrying him? If he won't at least TRY to understand me, what's the point in marrying him, and finally if he won't be my companion through our married life, then what is the point of marrying him?
I did not say I wanted a blue-eyed, blone-haired, half-japanese, half-kuwaity 23 year old man who speaks 7 languages fluently! I did not say I wanted a rocket scientist, nor a brain surgeon. I did not say I wanted him to go wage war on "the infidels" haha and I did not say I wanted him to be in my face 24/7. What I asked for was reasonable!
PSS, :) thanks for that, never knew that before.
Shosho, your point is valid. I am sure some will comment on that. My questions were just thoughts in my mind rather than real questions (makes sense?) You comment points to the importance of experience, which is not obtained by many, so it becomes a tough choice to know what type of men exist out there that can fit the profile requested.
DG your comment is longer than my post :) mashallah 3aleeech you like to discuss things at length. Anyways, my post is of course not targeted at you only (although I am sure you know that :)) so the long lists were a common feature.
What you ask for is reasonable, in your eyes of course, but from a man's perspective (mo ana tara) he will have similar list of conditions or desires, which might clash or not agree with what you have, so at the end, we come to the same point me and shosho mention, which is accepting the person as is. Does not mean you have to lower your standards to accept someone, but there are some traits that overweigh others, and then it is a matter of balance between which ones are important.
As for the je3s part :), just a question out of curiosity, do you want him to spend money on you for everything?
YBR :) thanks for your interest, you should have a blog also, would be good. As for the disclaimer, kaifech :) my idea is that you and DG discuss privately your differences as I do not think enna fee real differences between you two.
Haha naqza ya3ny ana garga! Walla you are so mean Purg! Please GiGi abuse him some more! The thing is, I don't want the things I say to be taken the wrong way, that's why I elaborate.
YBR - There's no need to :) Agool, just out of curiousity, why don't you have your own blog? You don't have to answer if you don't want to...
Back to your topic Purg - I guess we have to compromise then because "ill kamaal lallah".
As for the ji39 part, yeah, I am a gold-digger looking for a guy who can spend all his money to get me some "bling-bling".
Seriously though, (see ma3ana I tried to elaborate) when I say I don't wanna ji39 guy, it means I want a guy who can part freely with money, be it for me OR otherwise. Ill mohim ina floosa matkoon 3ala galba.
DG, am not mean :) I observe things, that is all.
Ya inta, ya observer :P
DG, :) try me
By differences between you and me YBR, he meant that "maku mushkilla bayna".
Purg - '7ala9 I'll take your word for it.
YBR, DG is correct in her observation of what I said (see even you can observe DG :P)
Q8 Shady, I do not know if that is a positive thing :)
Glad to see you're feeling better purg!
I didn't comment on this topic before. I know I am later but I just need to get this off my chest.... All girls think of the perfect man... each girl has different needs and wants. Guys do the same thing. Let me put it this way... when you fall, you fall! Your list disappears, and you end up with the guy you fell for. As long as you feel like you are being yourself with this person, and he is being yourself, and both are happy, then you have no problem. I always wanted tall, well built handsome guys, with slightly long hair, tan, etc.... those are the guys i dated, not the guy i will marry :D
Ram,
I agree with you :) I have the same experience with women, so in many cases, the lists disappear, and I expect the person as they are. Everyone has perferences, most of the time I get what I am looking for, but I also give other people the chance to know me, even if they meet one of the perferences, having friends is never bad.
Nothing influences how I view men except the novels that I read that display romantic male figures :r hehe If only fiction was reality hehehe :P And in this day and age alot of things are suprising.. so what you might have as your standards for the ideal man can be suprising to others.. why I say that I dunno hehe just felt like it :P
Ram & Purg,
Hmmm.. I tend to think that when the so called list disappears, then it must be lust, not love.
But then I'm usually wrong.
Oh and yeah, "where have all the guys-with-long-hair gone?"
*sigh*
Shrouq, nope, I think what we are trying to say is that once you are connected to someone, you do not need a list or a check list to qualify the person. It would not be lust, and could be love, because love makes the person blind.
As for long haired men, sorry non here :)
Man often wants much from a woman, too.
Q
Queenie, of course, it happens from both sides.
Oooooh smitten! Purg's in L-O-V-E! haha
DG :)
no its not lust... i will give u an example.... i had a long list of stuff i wanted in a guy... if it was lust, i would have ended up with a boss model lookalike.
:> Well I agree with shosho about the acceptance as the person is as a main condition in marriage & also in her view about why q80 girls look for a perfect guy "by all the word means" .. as for my list I expect some of whats in it bs also as Ramp. said it all fades away when your in LOVE then you have an other prespective of who your partner is.. when this happins then adaptation takes place after that either stick to each other no matter what & how or not :).
Q8CG, yes lists and sudden change of heart, always a problem what to do when encountered with such situations :)
Ooooh! Now Purg is feeling "special" ... is it because of that "special" someone, I wonder?
DG not all things are mentioned here, but you are very sharp :) tabeen info, you know how to contact me :P
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